It´s all Double-Dutch to me!

When you move or live abroad, just how important is it for you to be fluent in the local language in order to live life to the full? Or can you just shout, speak very slowly and use hand signals? Should you do an intensive language course or just have a few tequila shots and head out to give it a go? An interesting and very relevant theme for all those living or planning on living in a non English speaking country. As always, Ginger Gerald shares his experience, insights and wisdom....and throws in a few funny stories as well. 

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Transcript

Today´s theme is language or “speaking the lingo”. When you live abroad just how important is it to speak the language of your new country? It sounds a simple enough topic – but I think it´s going to be an interesting one and not one where everyone necessarily agrees. Added to that, I am aware that I have to be true to my previously stated podcast values of insightfulness, entertainment & life enrichment. Mmm let´s see how it goes heh – you can be the judge of that!

Let’s start with a quick quiz question for you / we like them. Which one of the following 3 options most represents your communication skills in a second language:

1.       Dos cervezas y una margarita por favor?

2.       TWO BEERS AND A MARGARITA PLEASE

3.       Hey amigo, 2 beers and a margarita por favor!

Well, which one is you? All 3 are real and probably all three´ll actually work in many places….

Let´s start today´s conversation nice and easy. For those of you who have, will, or may move to an English speaking country – then you can just kick off your slippers, sit back in your comfy armchair and enjoy today’s chat. Oh yes, you can tuck into your roast dinner, or your hamburger with extra fries or your vegemite on toast and congratulate yourself on how incredibly smart you´ve been to avoid the challenge of having to speak a second language just to get by in your new life. Of course, you´ll have a few interesting, entertaining and difficult-to-understand accents to deal with, but that´s OK, you and your host nation´s citizens can just take the mickey out of each other and snigger at the use of words like fanny or ass. But at least you´ve not got to stress about trying to communicate in a completely different language.

So what about Ginger Gerald´s experience?  Well, firstly, I´ve never lived in a country outside of the UK where English has been the standard communicating procedure. And secondly, I think I have to confess to having had a bit of a head start on many people. At my school we had to choose between French or German. I went for French based on the sophisticated criteria that it sounded nicer and it seemed easier. And I did ok. O level lead to A level which lead onto University to study French and at age 21 my first ever experience of living overseas was as a student in Paris. One winter´s evening, I can remember this really clearly, it was freezing, I was all bunged up with a cold and I was in a hurry to get back to my tiny little dorm. I was walking behind a bunch of about 10 school kids and so to get past them without getting myself run down by the mad 2CV driving Parisens, I simply asked for permission with a quick “pardon, pardon”. Somehow, they interpreted my slightly nasal “pardon, pardon” to be the sound of a duck “quack quack” and they all, instantaneously started dancing round me pretending to be ducks, quack quacking at me! I was bamboozled. That was probably the first, but definitely not the last time that I´ve had people laugh at me for my pronunciation. It was definitely the weirdest!

Now we all know that foreign languages don´t come as easily to some as to others. Everyone´s got their own set of skills and strengths and we’re all different. In my case, I was definitely ahead of the curve when it came to conjugating irregular verbs and agreeing adjectives, but my technical and practical skills were still in the nursery. Almost non-existent. If you haven’t already listened to my “confessions of a pool maintenance man” episode called “Taking the Plunge” – then I suggest you look it up when you´re done with this one!  I had a mate at school who for 3 full years could not grasp the concept of there being more than one word for “the” in French. I always did his homework for him, making a few purposeful errors of course to very cleverly trick the teacher (who probably didn´t really give a monkeys and who was actually known by the rather disrespectful nickname of “Nob”). Anyway, I couldn´t help him with tests so this mate of mine got zero in every French test he ever did and he dropped French at the very first opportunity. However, at the age of 15 this very same guy could strip a car engine down into every single component - and then put it back together again, better than it was in the first place! And here’s me with my past participles and gerundives but still struggling to change a lightbulb. So, when we consider the theme of 2nd languages, it is important to accept that not everybody necessarily has the same potential to become fully fluent in a foreign language – just the same as not everyone can run 100m in 10 seconds, no matter how hard you try or train, or ride a monocycle while juggling fire clubs at the same time. 

So let´s define 3 rough levels for the use of a second language:

Firstly: like my mate – you can´t speak a word. Can´t or won´t that is. There may be a variety of things going on here; maybe you´ve genuinely tried hard, in multiple ways but just can´t begin to open your mouth and say anything that anyone understands. Or maybe you do understand quite a bit but become a nervous wreck when it´s your turn to have a go. People very often say that they understand quite a lot, even everything, but then they speak in English. And I get that. I know people who for years have not uttered a single word in Spanish, but when they eventually do manage to speak – their Spanish is really advanced. 

At the other end of the scale you´ve got the “proficient” speaker or even the genuinely bilingual (or tri or even multilingual) variety. For me Bilingual is the peak; people who speak (and read and understand) two or more languages at the same level and their accents, grammar and their word selection means that they could genuinely be taken as a native speaker of either language. Often these people (we call them “one of them”) are born into it. Maybe their parents have different mother tongues; or they are 2nd or 3rd generation arrivals/immigrants/expats or maybe home means one language and school or “outside of home” is another.) But not all are born into it. Some people are really linguistically talented and learn a language so well, and are so immersed in it, usually for a long period of time, that they transition from being very fluent and proficient into being bilingual. Being Bilingual is seen from the outside, especially in Europe, as being a major advantage and big personal selling point, both personally and professionally – but it´s not seen as that quite so much elsewhere. In the US, for example, there are millions of bilingual Spanish & English speakers but, for some reason I don´t get, this often seems to be looked down upon rather than applauded. And then think of the number of Indians who speak English perfectly in addition to their own native language or languages. 

So that´s both ends of the scale, the “I know nothing” crowd and the linguistic savants, but the vast majority of Brits living in non English speaking countries fall somewhere in the middle. Most people give it a go, and after a while can understand some or even most of what they hear, particularly in 121 conversations, and can make themselves understood using a reasonable breadth of vocab and grammar that´s not perfect but is understandable. Some progress very quickly and become proficient – but some stay where they are – or even deteriorate as the years drag on…... like most things, new skills seem to be better suited to a young and active brain. 

However, for most Brits living abroad the objective of speaking the local language is to be able to get on and enjoy your life, irrespective where you´ve chosen to live, and to be able to integrate. And success can be gauged using the little known, and just invented, “KAC formula”! What is the KAC formula Ginger Gerald I hear you ask? Well, KAC is spelt KAC and here´s how it works. Listen to the following 3 concepts and their definitions and as we go through them you have to mark yourself out of 10 for each one:

K is for Knowledge – how well do you know a language and how well can you already communicate in that language – both spoen and in writing? If you´re fully fluent and like a local, give yourself a 10. My mechanic mate gets a zero. 

A is for Attitude – are you positive? Do you try really hard and be seen to try really hard? Do you look for opportunities to improve and practice your language? Are you resilient in the face of rejection and belittlement by others? Can you keep going when everyone seems to respond to you in English even when you say something perfectly (how annoying is that?). If you answered a great big YES to all of these questions then give yourself a pat on the back, and 10 points. The opposite, I´m afraid, is a zero.

C is for Confidence – this is a tricky one as some people just have it and some don´t – so they have to force it and do a bit of mind over matter or meditation (or have a couple of tequilas) before going for it! If ever there was a good reason to take up drinking – then speaking a foreign language when you of a nervous disposition is it. Irrespective of your alcohol intake, it is super important to try to become confident. So, timid as a lamb? You get a zero. Super confident even if you know you may be making a million mistakes? You get a 10 (if you´re over confident or a cocky twat – then knock yourself a mark or two off cause nobody likes one of them!)

How did you all get on? If your total score is 20 or more (and providing none of your scores are zero)  – then you´re on the right track. Focus on what you can do to improve each one of those scores starting with the lowest. 

If you´ve got a low K – join a class, do a course, buy the book – whatever works best for you. If you’re A is low – then take a good look at yourself in the mirror and give yourself a slap. Commit to being more positive  – people engage more with a smile than a frown.   

And if C is the issue then look for conversation exchange partners, practice what you know you want to say out loud and in front of the mirror or with your family and keep your sentences simple and clear. 

Remember KAC, apart from being something you sometimes stand in by accident, is a connected circle and each component can have a positive impact on the others – a three dimensional recipe for success! I might just trademark KAC!  

A bunch of years ago, I got moved to Venezuela for my job. The person I was taking over from had very kindly and thoughtfully arranged an event to introduce me to all of the business partners, suppliers and contacts. On the night 120 oe 150 or so people had turned up (mainly because they´d been promised free beer I think). Anyway, my predecessor and the number 2 in command, both British, both gave quick speeches to everyone in perfect South American Spanish – both fully proficient if not bilingual. Then it was my turn and I´d not prepared. I´m not sure they meant to stitch me up but I stumbled through a short speech which I thought was in Spanish but which, I was later told, was a mixture of English and French in a Spanish accent!! Oh well – I got through it and my KAC score went up and up from that day onwards….

Has anyone tried one of these “learn to speak a language fluently in 2 seconds or your money back” courses that pop up every time you check your phone? You just have to pop your Credit Card info into the app and hey presto – a complete brain reset.

And what a shame that we´re not all Scandinavians or Dutch. Now I know it´s wrong to generalize but wow – they seem to be born speaking a dozen different languages perfectly. Whereas us Brits (again I´m just generalizing folks so don´t go getting upset with me) we go on holiday and complain to the Tour Operator that the Greek waiter, in Greece, spoke Greek and that Turkey has too many Turkish people in it!! I only wish I was joking……  

And then of course, there´s the issue of language in Call Centres. We all love a call Call Centre don´t we? The excitement of the wait as your place in the queue slowly but surely comes down, you´re wondering just who you´re going to speak to today to get your issue resolved efficiently and don´t you just love that music while they take a moment to carefully ponder your predicament? Nowadays the functionality exists for real time, machine interpretation. So, for example, the customer says “Hola” – and I as the Call Centre agent hear “hello”. I say “hello” back and the customer hears “Hola”. That´s good isn´t it? So surely the next stage in the development of this piece of software is for the Government just to jab it into our arms and there we go, sorted! We can all become instantaneously multilingual. No need to test it or anything like that – oh no, just shove it in there like everything else…..

Now, now Ginger Gerald, this is neither the time or place for that conversation and this podcast is strictly apolitical, so let´s have a quick recap of today`s discussion.

First and foremost, remember that integrating, getting on with people and doing things that you just need to get done in your new life overseas does not all come down to how well you happen to speak or understand the local language! But of course it can really help – so don´t simply ignore it as you´ll never know what you´re missing out on. But the best advice I can give you is this: go ahead and study the language by all means, but don´t purely focus on learning vocab, phrases and grammar – focus also on your own attitude to using it when dealing with others and on your confidence levels. Remember the all important and potentially quality-of-life changing KAC formula. Knowledge, Attitude. Confidence. And don´t be scared to ask for help…. remember a lot of people do speak very good English and, if you have a smile on your face and it is clear that you´re prepared to really have a go at expressing yourself in someone else´s language, then you´d be amazed how many people will jump to help you to achieve it! That´s when the A for attitude comes into its own. 

So, I hope you didn´t feel that was a lecture – and I really hope it might have helped some of you who are maybe struggling to be understood or to understand, and to those of you who are already proficient or bilingual – then I hope you´ll consider offering a helping hand to your fellow compatriots (you never know, one of ´em might be able to mend your car next time it konks out!)